Why Single Women Aren’t Celebrated (And How To Change That)
Have you ever noticed that a ton of childhood is just being celebrated? Birthdays, holidays, good grades, getting your chores done — it all comes with acknowledgment and celebration. You even get money for losing your baby teeth. You literally get celebrated for just letting your body do what it naturally does. But as you get older, milestones transition with you. You don’t get a gold star for showing up to work or doing your taxes. Some years, you may not even get a cake on your birthday.
Sure, if you choose to get advanced degrees, you may have a few “Congrats Grad!” parties to look forward to. Or maybe you’ll have a celebration for getting a promotion or buying a home. But those moments can be far and few between. Honestly, if you’re not married with kids — you’re pretty much out of luck in the party department.
Arguably everything in life is a choice — from what you eat for breakfast to deciding to start a family. Yet, as you transition from child to adult, it seems like your choices become your achievements. And some choices are so socially acceptable, it’s become an inherent expectation to celebrate them.
Getting married = A giant party full of friends and family (and gifts)
Having a baby = A giant party full of friends and family (and gifts)
Being happily single for years = A whole lot of nothing
Don’t get me wrong, I love to love friends and family. I want to be surrounded by happy, fulfilled people who are making moves in their lives, and any win for them is a win for me. But, when I think about all the time, energy, and, you know, money, I’ve spent celebrating their choices, (read: normative relationship structures) it’s difficult not to notice that the scales aren’t exactly even.
Beyond graduations or buying a home, there are very few occasions for people to be celebrated if they are single and childless. And when you’re the single friend or unmarried sibling, you may be waiting a while to be the guest of honor.
Did you know that February 15th is Singles Awareness Day?
If you didn’t, you're not the only one. Though you will see a ton of empowering quotes for single women, this year on Instagram, #SinglesAwarenessDay had 10,000 fewer posts than #NationalHotDogDay. That’s right, if you’re single in America, you’re less as acknowledged than hot dogs. Let that sink in for a moment.
Though there are millions of singles in the world, you don’t see Singles Day decorations in the drug store. There’s no candies or cards for choosing not to have kids. No cakes made in a perfect serving size for one.
That is — not until you make one. Though Hallmark may be missing the opportunity to capitalize on celebrating single people, there’s no reason you can’t make a party of your own.
Take Yourself On A Vacation
Call it a honeymoon, a babymoon, or whatever else married people celebrate — you deserve to take yourself on a vacation. If there’s a city you’ve always wanted to go to or a country you’ve been dying to see, make a plan to take yourself there. Going on vacation reminds you that you deserve to treat yourself every once in a while. It reminds you how daring and strong and fun you are — all on your own.
Invest In Yourself
Listen, if you’re balling on a budget you may be limited on how you can treat yourself. Still, making a point to spend money on yourself reminds you that you’re worth it. Though, you have to know the difference between splurging and investing—because you should be doing both. Balance your money between things that have a return on your growth, mental health, and wellness and the things you just gotta have. Think therapy, books, courses, vacations when you’re trying to figure out what to do with your money.
Be Your Own Partner
Whether you’re happily single or are looking for the right person, there’s no reason you can’t be your own partner along the way. Buy yourself flowers. Call yourself beautiful. Throw yourself a big birthday party. Think of the things you’d want your dream person to do for you, and find ways to do them for yourself.
Plan Yourself A Party
Whether you want to celebrate a birthday or an accomplishment at work, there’s no shame in hosting a big gathering for yourself. If you’ve never liked to be the center of attention, planning a barbeque or dinner party can be a great way to bring your loved ones together.
The point is, you can celebrate yourself long before you reach any of the milestones celebrated on greeting cards. You’re beautiful, strong, and worth all of the fuss. When you consistently celebrate yourself, you model that expectation for others.
