Signs They Are Trying To Get You To Break Up With Them
So, you've been dating someone for a little bit, but you're starting to get the sense that something's off. Maybe things they thought were cute are getting on their nerves—or they're giving you the cold shoulder. Here are some lowkey signs they are trying to get you to break up with them.
They Avoid Confrontation
Before you dive into the deep end, ask yourself if your partner is the type of person who generally avoids confrontation. This is a good indication that your partner would have trouble sharing how they feel in the first place.
A partner who avoids conflict will struggle with difficult conversations and are less likely to communicate on the small things that bother them. You probably feel blindsided when they finally do speak up—or a seemingly small issue has blown up because they allowed it to fester.
The point is, if your partner struggles communicating the small things, like hating the scent of the lotion you use, they aren't going to be eager to let you know they aren't happy in the relationship.
Also, when it comes to confrontation, does your partner refuse to engage with you when you’re upset? If your partner doesn’t talk to you or isn’t actively looking for ways to resolve conflict, they are letting you know their level of investment in your relationship. Understandably, you’re probably left feeling like you’re on your own or that you’re the only one with a problem. Incredibly frustrating!
Maybe they just struggle with knowing what to say and how to say it. This may be true, but partners also have to confront themselves and call our their own behavior in order to show up for their partners.
They Engage In 'Single' Behavior
Acting like they aren't in a relationship includes how they look to everyone else, but also how they handle decisions. If they aren’t including you in their social media or you were once a prominent figure on their Instagram feed and now you’re not, something may be up. Don’t buy the line that it’s about privacy when they are posting where they go, what they drink, their kids, or pictures of them working out. Why is the relationship the only thing that requires privacy?
This behavior doesn't need to run through all areas of their life. Maybe they are still showing up for family functions—but they do a few things that make you wonder if they even considered you. For example, making decisions that impact their time or availability like you’re not a factor. An “I’ll see you when I see you” attitude is not conducive to creating intimacy or making your partner a priority.
They may even act like they have the most fun when you’re not around. Now, I urge you to use caution and your very best discretion when it comes to this. The truth is that your partner needs their own life outside of you. So, going out or pursuing their interests is expected and encouraged, or you'll soon run out of things to talk about. But, sometimes, it crosses the line.
If they treat your relationship like a chore they have to get through to do what they actually want to do, you know where you stand. No one wants to feel like a chore, and frankly, no one wants to do (pun intended) chores either.
They Dismiss Your Needs
A partner who doesn't see a future with you isn't concerned with meeting your needs today. Most people have a little narcissism in them, and obviously, some people are on the very high end of that spectrum. However, if that hasn't been the case, and now they're unresponsive to your needs—something is up.
The question is, are they trying to get you to end the relationship, or is something else preventing them from being there for you? Don’t make assumptions about what is going on with them. Have the conversation directly. Regardless of what’s going on in someone’s life, if they want you to be a part of their lives they will include you and make you feel like you matter to them.
They Highlight Your Differences
When a partner highlights differences and draws a line in the sand on their stance, it communicates to you that they are unwilling to compromise. A take-it-or-leave-it attitude says they're okay if you decide to leave it.
If they use statements like, "I could never be with someone who..." they're letting you know they’ve marked it as a reason not to be with you. If they have issues with qualities or behaviors that make you fundamentally who you are, indirectly, they are letting you know they don't see a future with you.
So, do they want me to break up with them?
If you're unsure if your partner is fully invested, communicate with them. A partnership means you don't need to figure these things out on your own. Don't avoid asking questions because you're afraid they want you to break up with them. It's better to know than to waste your time.
If they don't want to end your relationship, the signs that made you feel otherwise need to be addressed. Some things were said and done to make you question where you are in your relationship, and you'll need clarity and reassurance to move forward. Ultimately, you will need to ask yourself if you can continue with this relationship if nothing changes.
