The Power of Reclaiming Your Narrative: A Guide for Latina Women
As Latinas, we embrace a tapestry of traditions and customs, creating a beautiful blend of cultures. Yet, amidst this beauty, we face distinct challenges. Latina women often navigate multiple layers of identity related to our gender but also ethnicity, race, language, and cultural background. This intersectionality can amplify the complexity of our experiences and the discrimination we may encounter.
El Impacto of Our Narratives on Our Self-Perception
A universal feeling among women is that “We are not enough.” We are bred to believe that our value comes from what we can do for others. Think about all of the words used to describe and define what a woman is: nurturing, selfless, loyal, compassionate, etc. The list could go on, but these are a few of the words that are typically considered positive attributes. By comparison, many boys are taught how to be men by teaching them how not to be girls.
How many boys have you seen scolded for touching a doll?
The Barbie movie accurately captured the feeling that no matter what we do as women, we feel we are falling short.
Our bodies have become fast fashion. The goalpost for beauty is constantly changing because low self-esteem is lucrative for the beauty, fashion, and “health and wellness” industries. Latin America encompasses the full spectrum of beauty–varying complexions, hair textures, shapes, and sizes. Still, colorism plagues us. We are shamed for being too big or too skinny. Too many girls with “pelo malo” are getting chemical burns from relaxers at the salon.
In other parts of the world, knowing multiple languages is not only celebrated, it’s an expectation. In the United States, it’s estimated that one in five Americans speak a second language at home. Yet, how many of us are ashamed of our accents? Or, worse, bullied for them?
We are too American when we return to our ancestors' homelands, but too Latina to be American without Latin in front of it.
Our tales are our mirrors, reflecting how we see ourselves and the world. What happens when these echoes trap us in a maze of distorted histories, impossible expectations, and more tias judging us than we know what to do with?
We have the pressure of meeting all of the expectations our parents sacrificed for. Entering a country where they did not know the language, often working multiple jobs, and struggling to provide you with the opportunities they never had. How do you live life on your own terms without guilt or shame for thinking about yourself and what you need?
La Sanación that Comes with Owning Our Story
Generational trauma persists because whether it’s dysfunctional or not, people like what’s familiar. We gravitate towards what we know because there’s safety in predictability.
Disney’s Encanto created a colorful visual representation of generational trauma. Violence leading to the death of Abuelo forced a young Abuela to find a new home. An answered prayer blessed her children with powers (opportunities) that she herself did not possess. From that moment on, her purpose was to make sure her family used their gifts to help their community and secure their good name. This came at the expense of what her own family needed. Sound familiar?
Go to school. Get a good job. Get Married. Start a family.
Deviation from this path is often met with resistance and criticism. Many parents don’t acknowledge their resentment towards their children for not having to work as “hard” as they did. If you're a first or second-generation immigrant, you’re closer to the trauma that led them to make such a radical change.
We were raised by parents living in survival mode. There was fear driving their decision-making and parenting. They continue to be afraid for you when you make choices they don’t understand in a world they are still learning to navigate.
According to Mental Health America, 16% of the Hispanic/Latino community in the U.S. reported having a mental health issue. This number is undoubtedly higher due to the way mental health is stigmatized in our community.
Some of us cope by overachieving and people-pleasing. We have to work harder to prove our value and validate ourselves. Procrastinators may aspire to the same goals, but their anxiety triggers a flight response that makes them avoid tasks.
Owning your story is how you begin to change your habits and behavior. That’s where it starts. The courage to face yourself, a radical acceptance of who you are, with an understanding of why you are that way, followed by the determination to take action to make changes.
Pasos Prácticos to Reclaim Your Narrative
Staying true to yourself amidst the hopes and dreams projected onto you by family and society is challenging. Here's a guide to help you navigate this path:
Self-reflection and Awareness: Take time to understand your own desires, beliefs, and values. Reflect on what matters most to you.
Set Clear Boundaries: Learn to say no when something doesn't align with your aspirations. Establish boundaries that safeguard your priorities.
Communicate Your Vision: Express your dreams and goals clearly and confidently to your family, helping them understand your path.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Build a network of friends or mentors who understand and support your goals, providing encouragement and advice.
Educate Your Family: Share information about your chosen path, educating your family on its potential and the happiness it brings you.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during this process. Embrace imperfections and learn from setbacks, without self-criticism.
Seek Professional Guidance: Consider consulting a therapist or counselor to help you navigate the emotional aspects of conflicting expectations.
Stay Educated and Informed: Gather knowledge about your chosen path to feel confident in your decisions and deflect external doubts.
Focus on Your Growth: Concentrate on personal growth and self-improvement, striving to become the best version of yourself.
Find Creative Outlets: Express your unique perspective through art, writing, or any creative form that allows your individuality to shine.
Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate mindfulness to remain centered and grounded, enabling you to make decisions aligned with your true self.
Gratitude and Perspective: Focus on gratitude for the support you do have, while acknowledging that your life is ultimately yours to shape.
Stay Patient and Persistent: Recognize that change takes time and persistence. Keep moving forward, even if progress seems slow.
Celebrate Your Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate your milestones, no matter how small. It reinforces your commitment to your unique path.
Embrace Resilience: Cultivate resilience to bounce back from any criticism or negativity, staying steadfast in your journey.
Building Una Comunidad de Apoyo
No journey is complete without a tribe cheering you on. Join the immense power of community – connecting with almas that know exactly how you feel.
