How To Set Boundaries With Your Boss
Honestly, I can right a whole book on this. For years, I worked with a man that made Miranda Priestly from the Devil Wears Prada look tame. Unfortunately, he didn’t wear Prada and the job, although a worthy life-long mission, was far from glamorous.
Setting boundaries allows people to respect your needs and value your efforts. It gives you the ability to produce quality work while maintaining your sanity.
“Quiet quitting” is the latest trendy term for setting boundaries by limiting your work only to the responsibilities you’re compensated for. This attempt to create a work-life balance has struck a nerve, #quietquitting has gotten more than 94 million views on TikTok.
Why You’re Struggling To Set Boundaries
Usually, the struggle can be linked to how your toxic boss’ strategies trigger some childhood trauma for you. If their tactics are similar to those your parents used or still use, then you may default to your coping and defense mechanisms. People pleasing, flying under the radar, being the class clown, or working way above and beyond can all be an attempt to survive an authority figure that absolutely triggers the hell out of you.
Recommended Read (affiliate link): Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
Here’s what you need to do to set boundaries professionally.
Be Clear About Your Priorities
When you're trying to set boundaries, it's important to be clear about your priorities. You need to figure out what's important to you, both in your work and personal life. Once you've identified your priorities, communicate them to your boss. Be honest and clear about what you can and cannot do. Don’t be afraid to say "no" if a request doesn't align with your priorities.
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Set Clear Expectations
Setting clear expectations is critical to creating healthy boundaries with your boss. Make sure your boss knows what you need from them in terms of communication, deadlines, and workloads. Be proactive about communicating any issues or concerns you have, and be open to feedback from your boss.
Make Time for Yourself
It's important to make time for yourself, especially when you're feeling overwhelmed. Use your personal time to recharge, do things you enjoy, and take care of yourself. Make it a priority to disconnect from work during your off-hours, and don’t feel guilty about it. Your mental health and well-being are essential.
Communicate Effectively
Effective communication is essential when setting boundaries with your boss. You need to be clear and concise in your communication, and you should be willing to listen to your boss's needs and concerns as well. Use "I" statements when discussing boundaries, and avoid placing blame or getting defensive.
Be Consistent
Consistency is key when it comes to setting boundaries. Stick to your priorities and expectations, and communicate them consistently with your boss. Don't let the lines between work and personal life become blurred. It's important to maintain a healthy balance to avoid burnout.
Arming yourself with healthy strategies to protect your peace of mind and quality of work doesn’t mean they won’t try it. These toxic boss/workplace methods are common, but there are ways to handle them professionally.
Toxic Boss Tactic: The Guilt Trip
The guilt trip happens when you are made to feel badly or obligated into meeting unfair or unreasonable demands.
How to set boundaries:
Say no concisely. Don’t give them information to use against you.
Suggest an alternative. You want them to know you understand the urgency of what they are asking, but suggest another way to get it done that respects what you need.
Understand for yourself, that your personal priorities are important too.
Don’t assume they are trying to guilt you into anything. You may be feeling that all on your own. Check in with yourself and make sure your actions align with what you need.
Toxic Boss Tactic: Unclear Communication
Unclear expectations and communication is a strategy used to keep things open ended. That way, you’re never quite sure if an assignment falls within the scope of your job and expectations are unclear. If this is the case, you need to have difficult conversations. If you don’t know how your work is being evaluated, your career will remain stagnant. You don’t want to have to redo projects or get a negative review, because you were unsure and afraid to ask.
How to Set the Boundaries:
Talk to your boss and get clear on the requirements and expectations for the project.
Get information about how your work will be evaluated.
Rally your colleagues to to avoid having the lion’s share of the work fall on you.
Got a crazy boss? We get it!
Toxic Boss Tactic: Uneven Workload
If you have a heavier workload than your co-workers and your performance is starting to slip, it’s time to speak up.
How to set boundaries:
Suggest that the work would benefit from the feedback of your colleagues.
Suggest that another person on the team take on the task to protect the quality of the work already assigned to you.
ALWAYS make it about the work! Unfortunately, most companies don’t always empathize with your needs.
Toxic Boss Tactic: Scare Tactics
These are strategies used by supervisors to scare employees into performing tasks or additional hours. This is not a good sign!
How to set boundaries:
Cover yourself by documenting your work.
Ask for clarification when you need it.
Increase communication via email.
Start looking for a job. Scare tactics are a huge red flag that this is an unhealthy work environment.
Involve HR or the appropriate people to help you, if you feel that’s what’s best.
